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    Mullet Ute  icon
    Profile | Posts | Pics | Friends

    My Posts

    For all users. This page is automatically generated and contains the most recent and best work on the message board.

    Post Statistics:

    * Note: Current rankings are based on activity in the last calendar year.

    Recent Topics:

    Interwebs, how I love you so.....

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-04-08 15:38:44

    >> View Responses


    Nice thing about road games? My liquor cabinet.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-03-16 18:46:40

    >> View Responses


    Wazzu timeline....

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-02-07 21:37:20

    6:00pm: Tip

    8:00pm: Utes win, reluctantly press down on oversized plunger at midcourt

    9:00pm: Loiter arrives home, binge drinks peppermint schnapps

    10:00pm: Loiter submits stream of consciousness post on UFN, bitching about officiating

    >> View Responses


    Utah 71, UCLA 65

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-01-18 11:48:12

    >> View Responses


    Seriously. I want to have sex with this movie. Passionate, primal lovemaking.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-12-11 22:20:54

    http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/sony_p ictures/americanhustle/

    >> View Responses


    For the handful of truly depressing basketball nerds on the board, you might take interest in that Demetrius Walker is on the Grand Canyon roster. For the uninitiated, Walker is the central figure in the book They Played Their Hearts Out.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-21 11:47:26

    In my opinion, the best basketball book since Loose Balls; a sad yet compelling account of the AAU basketball scene.

    http://www.amazon.com/Play-Their-Hearts-O ut-Basketball/dp/0345508610

    >> View Responses


    Come on out Thursday night and watch the Runnin' Utes take on the University of Phoenix. Some game notes.....

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-19 10:35:57

    The Antelopes are coached by former Phoenix Sun and skin bronzer-enthusiast Dan Majerle

    Section J will be present for Thursday's contest. Remember to keep the lids on your soft drinks tight and avoid direct eye-contact.

    While the Ute's have been drubbing their opponents this year, the defense has been allowing open looks from 3 point range. Expect the Antelopes, sharpshooters from +20', to test the Ute's perimeter defense.

    The sentence above was a work of fiction. The author has not researched the Antelopes beyond perusing Google images of Majerle

    Half-time will consist of Newbomb Turk walking through the stands showing children the scar from his appendectomy

    The sentence above was true.

    >> View Responses


    University of Utah Runnin' Utes vs UC Davis Aggies tipping off at 8:00pm. First five hundred fans get to touch Rocker Ute's hair.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-15 14:37:16

    >> View Responses


    In the spirit of charity, I will gladly sign over my trademarks to all of my previous rec-league basketball teams to the University of Utah

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-12 12:47:17

    Walker Texas Rangers
    Copper Camel Fiesta
    White Guy From CHiPs
    Hornacek's Cowlick
    "WOOOOOOOO" (Ric Flair pronunciation)

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the sixth of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Princeton Onwas.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-11 10:33:37

    Princeton Onwas
    Junior – Guard/Forward
    6’5” 210lbs
    Houston, TX

    High-flying wing from Navarro College where he led the Fightin’ Labradoodles in scoring, averaging 11.5 points per game. Length, athleticism and adamantium coursing through his veins enables Onwas to be a shutdown defender from positions one through four. Solid mid-range shooter who received interest from a number of programs including Kansas State, TCU and the Legion of Doom. Owns 14 Hello Kitty backpacks. Onwas played in high school at Seven Lakes in Katy, TX; leading his team to a 32-7 record in District 5A. Princeton is the son to parents Carl Weathers and a Smith Machine.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Brick $#@%House

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the fifth of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Marko Kovacevic.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-31 13:44:03

    Marko Kovacevic
    Junior – Forward
    6’11” 235lbs
    Belgrade, Serbia

    Transfer from Western Nebraska Community College expected to contribute significant minutes for the Runnin’ Utes on the front court. Led the WNCC Cougars in 2012 to a 26-7 record and the Region IX (whatever that is) Tournament finals, averaging 11.7 points and a team-best 7.8 rebounds a game as a freshman. Spends summers interning at the customer service desk of a Russian surplus attack helicopter brokerage. Size, strength and rebounding will be put to use as Jordan Loveridge transitions to Small Forward. Has tattoo on his back of two Grateful Dead teddy bears……..stabbing each other in a prison yard. A shot-blocker (42 blocks in 2012 @WNCC), Marko is anticipated to be a key rim protector when the Utes transition to Pac-12 play. Likes to smoke Newport Menthols and watch the Blu-Ray version of Highlander in his free time. Marko is the son to parents Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Steve McQueen

    >> View Responses


    Lou Reed's The Gun repurposed........brilliantly.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-30 15:45:28

    Potentially NSFW. Not so much for British people swearing, but getting caught at your desk watching a video with Jeremy Piven in it.

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the fourth of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Connor Van Brocklin.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-25 15:36:07

    Conner Van Brocklin
    RS Junior – Long Snapper
    6’5” 195lbs
    Fruit Heights, UT

    Transfer with deep shooting range who averaged 15.9 points per game at Snow College. Van Brocklin’s average of 2.5 three point field goals per game especially impressive since the Scenic Western Athletic Conference employs donkey-rules basketball for its regular season. Runnin' Ute head coach Larry Krystkowiak says of Van Brocklin, "Connor brings great shooting skills and maturity to our program." Native of Fruit Heights, UT and attended Davis High School, so………… he’s got that going for him. A self-proclaimed ‘hair gel enthusiast’. Connor is the son to parents Joey Fatone and Enid Greene.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Tranquilized Marshall Henderson

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the third of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Brandon Taylor.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-24 17:24:48

    Brandon Taylor
    Sophomore – Point Guard
    5’10” 162lbs
    Los Angeles, CA

    Saw time in 29 games as true freshman; starter for the last 13. Three-point threat (42%, 2nd in PAC 12) and playmaker (2.9 assists, 14th) who creates space on the offensive end of the floor. Uses whiskers on the side of his face to detect the high-screen pick & roll………..because he’s a cat. Enjoyed season high points (21) and assists (6) in win versus Washington. Fears nothing but universal remote controls. Had 10 points and buried a pickaxe into the small intestine of Allen Crabbe in Utah’s PAC 12 Tourney defeat of Cal. Brandon is the son to parents Donatello of Ninja Turtle Fame and a 150lbs compound crossbow.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Scissor-Wielding Raptor w/Mounted Jetpack

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the second of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Xan Ricketts

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-23 12:24:42

    Xan Ricketts
    RS Junior - Forward
    6’7” 217lbs
    Sandy, UT

    Figures to play reserve role after transferring from Simon Fraser University in 2011. Has anywhere from 12-14lbs of undigested meat in his bowels. Saw time in 2012/13 against Willamette and College of Idaho. Inspiration for Xan Ricketts Fan Club, now up to 7 dues-paying members. Solid rebounding power forward who could guard small forwards on switch-outs. Likes to relax by watching Facts of Life reruns. Provides good looks on defense as member of scout team in practice. Formerly engaged to Mindy Cohn. Accounting major and on track for a sexy career as an accountant. Xan is the son to parents Michael Beck and Olivia Newton-John.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: ML Carr

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the first of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Kenneth Ogbe

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-22 12:34:24

    Kenneth Ogbe
    Freshman - Guard
    6’6” 190lbs
    Ehingen, Germany

    Perimeter player expected to make significant contribution in his freshmen year. Soft-shooting right-hander with range out to the 3 point line. As MVP, led his regional squad Ursping to the Arby’s Classic championship in Bristol, TN (unable to verify if this was a basketball tournament or a NASCAR Truck Series event). Possesses effective jab-step that frees up space for his jumper. Giggles uncontrollably when Coach Kristkowiak pronounces Ehingen. Moves equally well to his left as his right. In his free time, Kenneth enjoys scarves and Angela Merkel pornography. Anticipated to be in 7 man rotation. Kenneth is the son to parents Haddaway and Katarina Witt.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: German ShePegasus

    >> View Responses


    Interwebs.......you complete me.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-17 18:54:50

    http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/10/couples- recent-cialis-commercial-ranked/

    >> View Responses


    I present to you the single most greatest thing on the interwebs.....EVER.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-10 16:25:33

    NSFW if you have a crappy job.....Scratch

    >> View Responses


    Hooray Basketball!

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-09-27 15:24:18

    >> View Responses


    Basketball teams can start practicing today. To celebrate this event, I present my annual homage to the greatest shoe ever created in the history of the solar system: The adidas Top Ten.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-09-27 10:47:08

    >> View Responses


    HAP IV.....Samuel L. Jackson-Approved.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-06-06 14:01:21

    >> View Responses


    HAP Trophy?....HAP Trophy.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-06-05 12:36:54

    >> View Responses


    "Fantastic pace to this game. Shot clock not a factor, refs inconsequential; Players soaring like eagles here over the desert sky,"

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-05-24 14:36:15

    >> View Responses


    HAP IV: New Rules For a New Economy.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-05-20 14:41:14

    >> View Responses


    June 29th.....HORSE-A-Palooza IV (dba: HAP Quatro).

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-05-15 16:57:38

    >> View Responses


    HAP Quatro....we're all winners!

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-05-14 12:49:26

    >> View Responses


    (* drops mic, walks off stage *)

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-04-14 17:15:56

    >> View Responses


    Mullet Ute's three-day expedition of Disneyland; musings from the edge:

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-04-05 15:16:46

    You aren't getting any at Disneyland fellas; prepare for this as you must.

    I haven't been to Disneyland since Senior Night (a long forgotten California event whereas Disney would close the Park a handful of spring nights for CA high school seniors). I fondly recalled daring my best friend to dance with the robots on the Pirates of the Carribean, to which he leaped from the boat before I could finish the sentence. It was then I was introduced to the urban myth of Disney Jail (Guess what? Real place!). Liquor may have been a factor.

    Pocahontas? More like PocaHawtness.

    I saw two Big Johnson t-shirts during my stay at the park. I continuously underestimate the Chad Sexington/FlyFishing Ute consumer demographic.

    It's A Small World. WTH is up with the glaring ommision of Ireland? Why no children pounding near-lethal quanities of whiskey and bare-knuckle boxing with family elders? Thanks Obama.

    Second best princess? The redhead from Brave; there was just something about her...her volumous (* holds invisible bowling balls near chest *) head of hair maybe.

    Ran into Donald Duck at Frontier Land surrounded by a massive crowd trying to get their picture taken with him . He was wearing a coonskin cap and carrying an oversized aze. Sure, when I'm showing up to HAP without pants, swinging around a sharp object, everyone's shouting the safe word. Whatever.

    Oh, yeah. No sex, guys; ain't happening.

    >> View Responses



    by Mullet Ute
    2013-04-01 17:01:29

    >> View Responses


    Mullet Ute Social Graces Update From Last Weekend: Six fights; three involving gin and the Stones.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-03-26 15:54:23

    http://www.utefans.net/message.php?id=129 9298#message1299298

    >> View Responses


    Top 10 Most Recently Posted Messages:

    ...no waiting in the Richard Grieco booth. Weird.
    (1 day ago, 1 stars)

    I took my boy to FanX this past Friday. It was sometimes cool, sometimes creepy. Mostly creepy.
    (1 day ago, 1 stars)

    She seems nice (NSFW if you're an uptight ninny.....Scratch)
    (1 day ago, 1 stars)

    When somebody says something provocative in a staff meeting, my go-to response is usually "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, Sir........" then I let someone finish it for me.
    (1 day ago, 0 stars)

    Carrying a story arch over a season was new for Archer this year. I had my reservations three episodes into Archer Vice, but it wrapped up beautifully last night.
    (1 day ago, 1 stars)

    I'm growing weary of the Utah Man topic du jour. Mind if I post some random stuff?.......Doesn't matter; doing it anyway.
    (1 day ago, 1 stars)

    Ettore Messina would be a fascinating hire
    (1 day ago, 0 stars)

    Did not read...
    (1 day ago, 2 stars)

    Rule 34
    (1 day ago, 3 stars)

    If you outlaw the Dog Shot, only criminals will have the Dog Shot.
    (1 day ago, 3 stars)

    Loiter is lobbying the removal of Dog Shot 2.0 from HAP this year. Since 2.0 is a shot for contestants of Flyer-esque physiques (i.e. 'manly'), his motive is purely self-serving.
    (1 day ago, 4 stars)

    Fassel was a pretty good coach.........yeah........NO.
    (1 day ago, 1 stars)

    ...about every quarter, a thread comes along that I wish would go on forever. This is one of those threads (* grabs bag of pork skins *)
    (2 days ago, 1 stars)

    There he is! That's him! That's... the Warrior! He shot Cyrus!
    (4 days ago, 4 stars)

    Loiter. He'll show up wearing a scarf and turn the place into a hipster bar.
    (6 days ago, 9 stars)

    .....I remember when it took nuts to win HAP.
    (7 days ago, 1 stars)

    Are you going to let some marathoners affect your route to the stadium? Dude........were you bullied by Liliputians as a child?
    (7 days ago, 3 stars)

    (* humms Yah Mo B There while practicing Dog Shot *)
    (8 days ago, 2 stars)

    Michael McDonald & TOTO combining their superpowers at Red Butte this Summer? .........Michael McDonald & TOTO combining their superpowers at Red Butte this Summer!
    (8 days ago, 1 stars)

    My guess would be boobies......lots and lots of boobies.
    (9 days ago, 2 stars)

    Best. Wedding. Ever.
    (10 days ago, 6 stars)

    Loiter Collective! A call to arms! It is time to plan The Gathering.
    (12 days ago, 3 stars)

    Do they still have that dance hall at the back of La Frontera on 900 West?
    (14 days ago, 6 stars)

    I would front money to host this slap-fight.
    (14 days ago, 3 stars)

    VEEP is a good show. Sorry for doubting you.
    (14 days ago, 2 stars)

    I hope this doesn't come off as bragging, but I dropped three Zoolander quotes in a single meeting today.
    (15 days ago, 8 stars)

    (* dismissive wanking motion *)
    (15 days ago, 3 stars)

    Interwebs, how I love you so.....
    (15 days ago, 7 stars)

    Traveon Jackson = Andre Miller doppelganger.
    (17 days ago, 0 stars)

    I want you to do my taxes
    (19 days ago, 3 stars)

    I want to party with you.
    (19 days ago, 3 stars)

    So when you win, people show up. Fascinating.
    (19 days ago, 6 stars)

    ....if there are cubs nearby, I would evacuate the area completely.
    (22 days ago, 3 stars)

    Spring Game Pro Tip: Do not engage in prolonged eye contact with UteKing. He will charge.
    (22 days ago, 2 stars)

    Still grieving the early NCAA exit of my basketball doppelganger; Cameron Bairstow.
    (29 days ago, 0 stars)

    This isn't looking good for my mail-order bride.
    (36 days ago, 8 stars)

    He speaks the truth; Ute King is a mason on the court.
    (37 days ago, 4 stars)

    Nice thing about road games? My liquor cabinet.
    (38 days ago, 5 stars)

    BYU over SMU?
    (38 days ago, 4 stars)

    When Cameron Bairstow is not playing hoops, he's making figurines from Lonestar beer cans.
    (39 days ago, 0 stars)

    We need to establish a long-term home/home series with the Lobos. I miss them.
    (40 days ago, 0 stars)

    Cameron Bairstow = Rust Cohle
    (40 days ago, 2 stars)

    (* opens liquor cabinet *)
    (41 days ago, 6 stars)

    My boxer is now 7 months old. I'm reasonably confident that he has more taste than two-thirds of this board already.
    (54 days ago, 5 stars)

    For the love of Baby Jesus, why?
    (55 days ago, 3 stars)

    (55 days ago, 1 stars)

    From this point forward, I will blue star any post that degrades Buick Veranos. Someone has to stick up for Scratch.
    (55 days ago, 5 stars)

    ^ has a vagina ^
    (57 days ago, 2 stars)

    Outlaw Country!
    (57 days ago, 2 stars)

    Archer was fantastic last night.
    (57 days ago, 4 stars)

    They all laughed when I initially proposed it, but adding IrieUte to the Loiter Collective has been a brilliant move.
    (58 days ago, 6 stars)

    I'm always seeking out the latest happenings on Cougarboard. So, naturally, I log on to Utefans.net
    (58 days ago, 18 stars)

    I remember my first beer.......
    (58 days ago, 7 stars)

    Collector edition UteKing bobbleheads?
    (61 days ago, 5 stars)

    A random NEZ season ticket holder spends 7 minutes in a closet with Loiter?
    (61 days ago, 7 stars)

    Free Hep C screening?
    (61 days ago, 7 stars)

    Another oversized plunger that lights up the U?
    (61 days ago, 7 stars)

    What this country needs is another Evel Knievel.
    (61 days ago, 6 stars)

    ^ Plays with self ^
    (61 days ago, 3 stars)

    ^ would rather be right, than be president ^
    (62 days ago, 2 stars)

    ^ not aware what a MILF is ^
    (62 days ago, 4 stars)

    .....aside from buying her a drink (duhh).
    (62 days ago, 1 stars)

    So when you meet a MILF on a flight and after 30 minutes of small-talk, she shares with you that her favorite band is Wang Chung, how would you react?
    (62 days ago, 4 stars)

    So where do you hide your shame? In your purse? Hope chest?
    (62 days ago, 5 stars)

    btw: I have an odd attraction to Kristen Schaal. I can't explain.
    (63 days ago, 2 stars)

    i'm happy that Fallon has the Tonight Show; good has prevailed over evil. That being said, Craig Ferguson is The Boss.
    (64 days ago, 5 stars)

    Well, if there's one thing I learned today it's that the market is ready for the Summer of SuperLoiter IPO.
    (64 days ago, 4 stars)

    I find it interesting that people who point out that dunking in warm-ups is a technical foul are the same people who cannot dunk in the first place.
    (64 days ago, 8 stars)

    Spoiler Alert: Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.
    (64 days ago, 8 stars)

    (* touches self *)
    (68 days ago, 4 stars)

    If Sienna Miller was my intern........I still wouldn't post her picture.
    (68 days ago, 1 stars)

    Check that; six movies. Layer Cake.
    (68 days ago, 2 stars)

    I have five movies on my iPad: One On One, Fast Break, Truth In 24, Big Lebowski and Four Weddings and a Funeral.
    (68 days ago, 0 stars)

    False. MSP is an open bar; not an unattended bar. You have much to learn, Patowan.
    (68 days ago, 1 stars)

    This bears repeating: The O'Hare Sky Club is greatest place in the universe. Conference call? Unattended bar? Challenge accepted.
    (68 days ago, 5 stars)

    Glad I stuck with True Detective; episode 4 was great TV.
    (72 days ago, 7 stars)

    You must be a blast at cocktail parties.
    (72 days ago, 9 stars)

    ^ disturbing pron in his browser history ^
    (74 days ago, 2 stars)

    ^ wrote this while listening to Styx ^
    (74 days ago, 2 stars)

    There is no reluctance at HAP.
    (75 days ago, 1 stars)

    Wazzu timeline....
    (75 days ago, 8 stars)

    My dog has a playlist from The Outfield.
    (75 days ago, 1 stars)

    Were you wrapped up in a duvet, drinking chamomile tea and listening to some Adele when you wrote this?
    (75 days ago, 1 stars)

    Get loaded for Wazzuuu!!!! Amirite!?!..........(* reaches out for high five *).....................screw you guys.
    (75 days ago, 3 stars)

    I've recommitted to showing up to the JMHC inebriated tomorrow night. #WarGilbeys
    (75 days ago, 6 stars)

    ^ kind of a big deal ^
    (76 days ago, 9 stars)

    You hit like a four year old boy.
    (76 days ago, 4 stars)

    Why are so many people opining on the whims of 18 year old boys, when we could be discussing the awesome body-transformation of a cocaine-fueled Pam Poovey?
    (78 days ago, 6 stars)

    (79 days ago, 9 stars)

    ^ believes in Bigfoot ^
    (79 days ago, 2 stars)

    You've always struck me as a Glass Tiger guy.
    (82 days ago, 3 stars)

    (82 days ago, 5 stars)

    Is it too early to say I love this thread?
    (82 days ago, 1 stars)

    With every Red Zone post, God takes away a can of NOS from Vin Diesel.
    (82 days ago, 4 stars)

    Shouldn't you be busy Instagraming pics of Seattle?
    (82 days ago, 2 stars)

    It's a bad week for UFN when the news that Vin Diesel signed onto XXX 2 is buried by the Red Zone/Fanzz kerfuffle.
    (82 days ago, 2 stars)

    This has the production value of a hostage video.
    (84 days ago, 15 stars)

    No, he does not.
    (89 days ago, 3 stars)

    WWDTD (What Would Dominic Toretto Do?)
    (91 days ago, 2 stars)

    To catch wolves, you need wolves.
    (92 days ago, 2 stars)

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    You realize we're in the PAC-12, right? (43 stars)
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    Monday morning at the office of the U of U Athletics Director...... (41 stars)
    2011-03-28 14:51:22

    Monday morning at the U of U AD Office…….. (41 stars)
    2011-03-12 09:50:46

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    This is a Pug dressed up as a Bantha. Your update is irrelevant. (38 stars)
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    Here you go kiddies, Mullet Ute's interview with USC football coach Lane Kiffin..... (37 stars)
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    Creepy, creepy, creepy........... (34 stars)
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    Coach Jeff Smith: the Loiter Interview...... (31 stars)
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    Former Wyoming Basketball Coach Benny Dees, The Loiter Interview..... (1640)
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    Well I'll be damned. Maybe there's hope for the U of U Marketing Department yet. Look what came with my season ticket renewal form this afternoon... (927)
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    Monday morning at the office of the U of U Athletics Director...... (898)
    2011-03-28 14:51:22

    Monday morning at the U of U AD Office…….. (893)
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    Freaky like my lady pyramid! (879)
    2010-10-27 23:03:21

    Guiot and Lee... (842)
    2011-04-05 14:31:52

    Enough of your boardmail already! After MadUte's "Brush With Lesbians" post, I guess I should share my own lesbian encounter..... (834)
    2006-11-30 15:13:49

    I don't want to hear anymore bitching and whining regarding the state of the Salt Lake City sports scene. Be grateful for everyday that you do not live in Indiana..... (824)
    2005-12-27 11:22:58

    "There's been a lot of talk about this next song...maybe too much talk....." :D (777)
    2004-06-10 15:17:35

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