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    Mullet Ute  icon
    Profile | Posts | Pics | Friends

    My Posts

    For all users. This page is automatically generated and contains the most recent and best work on the message board.

    Post Statistics:

    * Note: Current rankings are based on activity in the last calendar year.

    Recent Topics:

    Second Request: Seeking a pair of lower bowl basketball season tickets.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-10-03 17:32:53

    Greetings Everyone-

    This is an excellent opportunity for one of you to have your very own ‘brush with greatness’ story. I’m in need of a pair of lower bowl season tickets for the Runnin’ Utes, and you might be the lucky person to sell them to me. Since I’m a man of the people, I prefer to source these tickets from you: because the ticket office is for losers. You and I (*loosens ascot, sniffs brandy*)…..we are not losers.

    Some items of note regarding myself and our potential transaction:

    • I’m the Jack Nicholson of the JMHC. Like Jack, I have little effect on the outcome of a game, but I can make a bad game interesting. So it’s pretty important that one of you steps up and works a deal with me.

    • I will not sit in Section J. I don’t care what my dry cleaner says:you cannot get the smell of Section J off your garments. It’s the herpes of aromas.

    • I may or may not pick the tickets up in person. Should you want to meet West of Highland Drive, you’ll have to work with my security detail. West of State Street? (* leans back in chair, makes dismissive wanking motion *)

    • I realize that I’ve been flexible in the past, but if you want to discount the price of the seats in return for me sleeping with your wife, it will have to be 50% of the face value of the tickets. Almost forgot, I get the rights to the video; this is non-negotiable.

    So (* finishes brandy, throws glass in fireplace), should you have tickets, drop me a boardmail. Do it….do it for America.


    Mullet Ute

    >> View Responses


    I'm so conflicted about tomorrow. I want Mike Leach to be my uncle.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-09-26 12:44:09

    >> View Responses


    Ever been to Fresno? It's like Tooele without the whimsy.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-09-03 21:53:52

    >> View Responses


    The Sands Sportsbook odds for tomorrow's tailgate vs Idaho St:

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-08-27 21:10:41

    Newbomb takes his shirt off before kick-off: 5-1

    Ute King keeps his shirt on before kick-off: 5-1

    Sfork initiates and wins bareknuckle brawl with Bengal alumni: 15-1

    Chucker initiates and wins bareknuckle brawl with Bengal alumni: no-line
    (since Chucker is part lycan/part Chili-Mac, bookies won't touch this)

    Loiter has sex with a patron from the Green Pig in Shasta's trailer: 6-5

    >> View Responses


    Minutes from the HAP Board of Directors meeting last evening (and pub-crawl review)

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-08-17 19:55:34

    HORSE-A-Palooza Quarterly Board Meeting, Attendees:
    • Mullet Ute: Chief Science Officer, HAP Spirit Animal
    • Newbomb Turk: Chief Financial Officer, HAP Historian
    • Loiter: Chief Operating Officer, HAP Svengali

    Piper Down
    My father once gave me some great advice. There are some jobs that are best left to professionals: brake repair, interventional medicine and tattoo art. Regarding the later, it’s apparent that the patrons of Piper Down have no fathers. That or there’s a tattoo artist with Parkinson’s that’s playing a terrible joke on a lot of people.

    Between that, and the kaleidoscope-like scent of urine, body odor and Jameson’s, Piper Down was deemed unfit for any HAP business and we agreed to adjourn to the next location.

    Junior’s Tavern
    Junior’s was also deemed unfit for HAP business, not so much that it’s a bad establishment (it’s not), but that it’s completely forgettable. The vanilla ice cream of bars, if you will. In fact, I can only remember two things from that bar:

    “Wow, that’s a big @#$%ing mirror”…….Loiter.

    “She looks like Betty Paige”…….Newbomb Turk. (this was said in reference to a female patron of Junior’s….Turk then spent the next fifteen minutes explaining who Betty Paige was).

    It was over sushi that the HAP Board of Directors passed the first resolution of the evening. Loiter motioned that collegiate football teams with one-armed kickers should hereby be deemed as a protected species and assured top 25 ranking. The motion was met with awkward pause by Turk and Mullet (plus a WTF expression from the sushi chef), but after three Sapporos the motion was approved. A research grant was commissioned to investigate if one-armed collegiate football kickers are an exception to Rule 34.

    Murphy’s Bar and Grill
    If you are an attractive middle-aged woman who was walking hand-in-hand with your daughter after the curtain fall of Wicked, and you were startled from someone shouting “Check out that MILF!”……….then you had the privilege of being in close proximity to Newbomb Turk. This must’ve been a big moment for you.

    Green Pig
    It wasn’t until the Board secured a secluded table on the rooftop of the GP where real business commenced. The following motions were presented and approved:
    • When it comes to the attractiveness of the opposite sex, Mullet has no ‘type’. The motion was approved that moving forward he needs to establish a type.
    • In a mythical arena, a Great White shark would defeat a Silverback Gorilla in a fight to the death.
    • When you buy Loiter a Pabst Blue Ribbon and you chant “Ginger” three times, he must show you the picture of his mullet on his phone.
    • The next HAP Board of Directors meeting is scheduled for December 20th, immediately after the UNLV-Utah basketball game… the Spearmint Rhino (duh).

    >> View Responses


    I'm adding "Ice Up, Son" to my conference room lexicon immediately

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-08-13 12:04:25 08/steve-smith-wins-money-by-not-fighting . html

    >> View Responses


    I've met my share of celebrities in my life. Liam Neeson (snores). Robert Redford (little). Bruce Hornsby...twice (kind of awesome). Summer Sanders (hit on....and rejected). Kate Pierson (kind of hit on...kind of hit on back....long story).

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-07-21 19:16:09

    But tonight I met Kareem Abdul Jabar. I was completely star-struck.

    >> View Responses


    Forced ranking of the couples from Cialis commercials. Thank you, Internet.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-07-03 12:42:05 ed/

    >> View Responses


    The HAP and The Furious

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-06-02 17:45:25

    >> View Responses


    There will never come the day that UteKing fails to showcase his hoop skills at HAP. It will just get progressively harder to watch.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-05-13 12:30:45

    >> View Responses


    HAP 2014: basketball, showmanship and hepatoxicity.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-05-01 11:02:40

    >> View Responses


    HAP 2014: This is probably a big moment for you.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-04-30 12:46:12

    >> View Responses


    Interwebs, how I love you so.....

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-04-08 15:38:44

    >> View Responses


    Nice thing about road games? My liquor cabinet.

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-03-16 18:46:40

    >> View Responses


    Wazzu timeline....

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-02-07 21:37:20

    6:00pm: Tip

    8:00pm: Utes win, reluctantly press down on oversized plunger at midcourt

    9:00pm: Loiter arrives home, binge drinks peppermint schnapps

    10:00pm: Loiter submits stream of consciousness post on UFN, bitching about officiating

    >> View Responses


    Utah 71, UCLA 65

    by Mullet Ute
    2014-01-18 11:48:12

    >> View Responses


    Seriously. I want to have sex with this movie. Passionate, primal lovemaking.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-12-11 22:20:54 ictures/americanhustle/

    >> View Responses


    For the handful of truly depressing basketball nerds on the board, you might take interest in that Demetrius Walker is on the Grand Canyon roster. For the uninitiated, Walker is the central figure in the book They Played Their Hearts Out.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-21 11:47:26

    In my opinion, the best basketball book since Loose Balls; a sad yet compelling account of the AAU basketball scene. ut-Basketball/dp/0345508610

    >> View Responses


    Come on out Thursday night and watch the Runnin' Utes take on the University of Phoenix. Some game notes.....

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-19 10:35:57

    The Antelopes are coached by former Phoenix Sun and skin bronzer-enthusiast Dan Majerle

    Section J will be present for Thursday's contest. Remember to keep the lids on your soft drinks tight and avoid direct eye-contact.

    While the Ute's have been drubbing their opponents this year, the defense has been allowing open looks from 3 point range. Expect the Antelopes, sharpshooters from +20', to test the Ute's perimeter defense.

    The sentence above was a work of fiction. The author has not researched the Antelopes beyond perusing Google images of Majerle

    Half-time will consist of Newbomb Turk walking through the stands showing children the scar from his appendectomy

    The sentence above was true.

    >> View Responses


    University of Utah Runnin' Utes vs UC Davis Aggies tipping off at 8:00pm. First five hundred fans get to touch Rocker Ute's hair.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-15 14:37:16

    >> View Responses


    In the spirit of charity, I will gladly sign over my trademarks to all of my previous rec-league basketball teams to the University of Utah

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-12 12:47:17

    Walker Texas Rangers
    Copper Camel Fiesta
    White Guy From CHiPs
    Hornacek's Cowlick
    "WOOOOOOOO" (Ric Flair pronunciation)

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the sixth of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Princeton Onwas.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-11-11 10:33:37

    Princeton Onwas
    Junior – Guard/Forward
    6’5” 210lbs
    Houston, TX

    High-flying wing from Navarro College where he led the Fightin’ Labradoodles in scoring, averaging 11.5 points per game. Length, athleticism and adamantium coursing through his veins enables Onwas to be a shutdown defender from positions one through four. Solid mid-range shooter who received interest from a number of programs including Kansas State, TCU and the Legion of Doom. Owns 14 Hello Kitty backpacks. Onwas played in high school at Seven Lakes in Katy, TX; leading his team to a 32-7 record in District 5A. Princeton is the son to parents Carl Weathers and a Smith Machine.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Brick $#@%House

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the fifth of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Marko Kovacevic.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-31 13:44:03

    Marko Kovacevic
    Junior – Forward
    6’11” 235lbs
    Belgrade, Serbia

    Transfer from Western Nebraska Community College expected to contribute significant minutes for the Runnin’ Utes on the front court. Led the WNCC Cougars in 2012 to a 26-7 record and the Region IX (whatever that is) Tournament finals, averaging 11.7 points and a team-best 7.8 rebounds a game as a freshman. Spends summers interning at the customer service desk of a Russian surplus attack helicopter brokerage. Size, strength and rebounding will be put to use as Jordan Loveridge transitions to Small Forward. Has tattoo on his back of two Grateful Dead teddy bears……..stabbing each other in a prison yard. A shot-blocker (42 blocks in 2012 @WNCC), Marko is anticipated to be a key rim protector when the Utes transition to Pac-12 play. Likes to smoke Newport Menthols and watch the Blu-Ray version of Highlander in his free time. Marko is the son to parents Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Steve McQueen

    >> View Responses


    Lou Reed's The Gun repurposed........brilliantly.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-30 15:45:28

    Potentially NSFW. Not so much for British people swearing, but getting caught at your desk watching a video with Jeremy Piven in it.

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the fourth of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Connor Van Brocklin.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-25 15:36:07

    Conner Van Brocklin
    RS Junior – Long Snapper
    6’5” 195lbs
    Fruit Heights, UT

    Transfer with deep shooting range who averaged 15.9 points per game at Snow College. Van Brocklin’s average of 2.5 three point field goals per game especially impressive since the Scenic Western Athletic Conference employs donkey-rules basketball for its regular season. Runnin' Ute head coach Larry Krystkowiak says of Van Brocklin, "Connor brings great shooting skills and maturity to our program." Native of Fruit Heights, UT and attended Davis High School, so………… he’s got that going for him. A self-proclaimed ‘hair gel enthusiast’. Connor is the son to parents Joey Fatone and Enid Greene.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Tranquilized Marshall Henderson

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the third of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Brandon Taylor.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-24 17:24:48

    Brandon Taylor
    Sophomore – Point Guard
    5’10” 162lbs
    Los Angeles, CA

    Saw time in 29 games as true freshman; starter for the last 13. Three-point threat (42%, 2nd in PAC 12) and playmaker (2.9 assists, 14th) who creates space on the offensive end of the floor. Uses whiskers on the side of his face to detect the high-screen pick & roll………..because he’s a cat. Enjoyed season high points (21) and assists (6) in win versus Washington. Fears nothing but universal remote controls. Had 10 points and buried a pickaxe into the small intestine of Allen Crabbe in Utah’s PAC 12 Tourney defeat of Cal. Brandon is the son to parents Donatello of Ninja Turtle Fame and a 150lbs compound crossbow.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: Scissor-Wielding Raptor w/Mounted Jetpack

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the second of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Xan Ricketts

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-23 12:24:42

    Xan Ricketts
    RS Junior - Forward
    6’7” 217lbs
    Sandy, UT

    Figures to play reserve role after transferring from Simon Fraser University in 2011. Has anywhere from 12-14lbs of undigested meat in his bowels. Saw time in 2012/13 against Willamette and College of Idaho. Inspiration for Xan Ricketts Fan Club, now up to 7 dues-paying members. Solid rebounding power forward who could guard small forwards on switch-outs. Likes to relax by watching Facts of Life reruns. Provides good looks on defense as member of scout team in practice. Formerly engaged to Mindy Cohn. Accounting major and on track for a sexy career as an accountant. Xan is the son to parents Michael Beck and Olivia Newton-John.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: ML Carr

    >> View Responses


    As a value-added service to this board, I present to you the first of a series of roster profiles for the 2013/2014 Runnin' Utes. Today's profile; Kenneth Ogbe

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-22 12:34:24

    Kenneth Ogbe
    Freshman - Guard
    6’6” 190lbs
    Ehingen, Germany

    Perimeter player expected to make significant contribution in his freshmen year. Soft-shooting right-hander with range out to the 3 point line. As MVP, led his regional squad Ursping to the Arby’s Classic championship in Bristol, TN (unable to verify if this was a basketball tournament or a NASCAR Truck Series event). Possesses effective jab-step that frees up space for his jumper. Giggles uncontrollably when Coach Kristkowiak pronounces Ehingen. Moves equally well to his left as his right. In his free time, Kenneth enjoys scarves and Angela Merkel pornography. Anticipated to be in 7 man rotation. Kenneth is the son to parents Haddaway and Katarina Witt.

    Basketball Spirit Animal: German ShePegasus

    >> View Responses

  complete me.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-17 18:54:50 recent-cialis-commercial-ranked/

    >> View Responses


    I present to you the single most greatest thing on the interwebs.....EVER.

    by Mullet Ute
    2013-10-10 16:25:33

    NSFW if you have a crappy job.....Scratch

    >> View Responses


    Top 10 Most Recently Posted Messages:

    No. False. Not even in the the Top Ten. While uneven, 30 For 30 has put up some tremendus docs.
    (2 days ago, 1 stars)

    ....seriously getting my hopes up for the Miracle On Ice documentary from the USSR vantage.
    (2 days ago, 1 stars)

    Dude, The Two Escobars is an epic documentary. Not just a sports movie.
    (2 days ago, 4 stars)

    ....if it was Fisher DeBerry, I'd order a bottle and text Chucker to show up STAT.
    (2 days ago, 5 stars)

    ...I may have had a little bit to drink tonight.
    (2 days ago, 4 stars)

    If Todd Graham was in a restaurant and suddenly choked on his meal, I'd order a double of Maker's and pull up a chair to watch him slowly die.
    (2 days ago, 14 stars)

    I wouldn't piss down Todd Graham's throat if his heart was on fire.
    (5 days ago, 20 stars)

    Best Gameday sign: Kiffin's Krimson Korner.
    (6 days ago, 4 stars)

    ..and why did his parents find it necessary to spell his phonetically? Or did they do it on some sort of dare?
    (7 days ago, 2 stars)

    Who's Derik Stevenson?
    (7 days ago, 2 stars)

    I had no idea that Dolph Ziggler played DE for Nevada Reno. Oh, excuse me, University of Nevada (* wanking motion*).
    (12 days ago, 6 stars)

    I like boobs.
    (15 days ago, 6 stars)

    Turk brings a bag of quarters to the Spearmint Rhino.
    (20 days ago, 1 stars)

    .........Scratch's braided belt.
    (22 days ago, 3 stars)

    .....Sonny Lubick.
    (22 days ago, 2 stars)

    ....Loiter's frosted tips.
    (22 days ago, 2 stars)

    Sorry, just saw a post below regarding Wynona Ryder and asked myself of things that haven't been relevant for 15 years.
    (22 days ago, 1 stars)

    I miss the Lemonheads
    (22 days ago, 1 stars)

    Grosse Pointe Blank almost made me want to buy a Lincoln. Almost.
    (24 days ago, 2 stars)

    Drca is Serbian for purse.
    (24 days ago, 4 stars)

    I've written a bill that embargoes Oly after the WSU clusterfest. I'm confident it will get passed, Becky Lockhart is secretly longing for my return.
    (24 days ago, 4 stars)

    ....Dude, there's your problem. We all know who's alias that is. Had you said "DiMaria", you would've been ushered to the Keystone Light Room.
    (24 days ago, 4 stars)

    Did you pronounce my name correctly? Are you sure you were at Sonny's? Were the walls lined in skid plate? So many questions.
    (24 days ago, 1 stars)

    .....Sonny's on Arizona Ave. Tell them Mullet Ute sent you.
    (24 days ago, 2 stars)

    The first? When I patroned a stripper bar in Chandler, AZ on a Monday afternoon.
    (24 days ago, 5 stars)

    Friday night I watched The Room at the insistance of a friend. It was the second time in my life I said "I don't think I'm drunk enough to get this".
    (24 days ago, 2 stars)

    Bittersweet news: they're rebooting CHiPs for a cinematic release (* shoots pistols in air *). Starring Dax Shepherd (mother-&%#$er!)
    (24 days ago, 1 stars)

    Florida-Georgia Line. Make it stop. Make The Bad Men Stop!
    (24 days ago, 4 stars)

    (* looks under bed for #%$& to give *)
    (26 days ago, 22 stars)

    (* reaches down, pats head *)
    (28 days ago, 0 stars)

    Second Request: Seeking a pair of lower bowl basketball season tickets.
    (28 days ago, 9 stars)

    "So I wake in the morning and step outside. I take a deep breath and I get real high..."
    (29 days ago, 1 stars)

    The citizens of Lexington, KY don't seem to care for power ballads from the early 90s. Weird
    (29 days ago, 0 stars)

    Went to a karaoke bar last night. Got drunk. Sang What's Up? from 4 Non-Blondes. Killed it.
    (29 days ago, 6 stars)

    It's my dog's fault. Never should've taken him to the tailgate.
    (32 days ago, 1 stars)

    I'm so conflicted about tomorrow. I want Mike Leach to be my uncle.
    (35 days ago, 9 stars)

    Bronco teaching Pomerianans to lead with their head when tackling Loiter's red shoes........
    (35 days ago, 9 stars)

    I find both sides of your analogy adorable.
    (35 days ago, 3 stars)

    I honestly don't understand the vitriol over Bronco; I dislike him like I dislike my neighbor's Pomerianan. Conversely, the thought of Todd Graham being subjected to physical harm makes me all warm inside.
    (35 days ago, 6 stars)

    Hating Todd Graham just feels right.
    (35 days ago, 11 stars)

    My hate for Todd Graham is at Fisher DeBerry-level.
    (35 days ago, 5 stars)

    Total Divas is the cultural/intellectual peak of television entertainment. I will fight any of you who disagree.
    (36 days ago, 0 stars)

    Loiter plays bass for U2
    (36 days ago, 2 stars) would be a lot cooler if you brought the trannies.
    (37 days ago, 3 stars)

    I'm not seeing a trunk, so where would you hide your shame?
    (37 days ago, 12 stars)

    ^ proof of life ^
    (37 days ago, 1 stars)

    Conversation with friends about reasonably-priced tranny hookers > conversation with friends about Hill vs. Wilson.
    (37 days ago, 6 stars)

    My advice to you is to get better friends.
    (37 days ago, 19 stars)

    It will be closer than most people here think, but we will beat WSU Saturday.
    (38 days ago, 6 stars)

    I will bring Oly Saturday. Bet your mortgage on it; Oly is undefeated.
    (39 days ago, 9 stars)

    I once saw AD stop a charging rhino with a single Superman punch.
    (39 days ago, 1 stars)

    ...and for you kids on the board, Sylvester was no AD.
    (39 days ago, 2 stars)

    There's been some fine ones over the years, but the last time we had an impact LB of Gionni Paul's caliber has to be Anthony Davis.
    (39 days ago, 6 stars)

    ^ reach
    (39 days ago, 11 stars)

    My favorite part was when we beat Michigan.
    (40 days ago, 22 stars)

    Gionni Paul; angry player or angriest player?
    (41 days ago, 7 stars)

    We will tailgate wherever we want. Michigan is like Canada without the edge.
    (42 days ago, 17 stars)

    Antonio DiMaria
    (43 days ago, 13 stars)

    What bet did you win that you can stay up past 10pm?
    (44 days ago, 8 stars)

    OCMS killed it on Conan tonight.
    (44 days ago, 4 stars)

    Jameis Winston. He seems nice.
    (44 days ago, 11 stars)

    I find this thread inspirational. It should give us all hope for the NEZ
    (48 days ago, 0 stars)

    Were your lips moving when you typed this?
    (48 days ago, 4 stars)

    Who else is surprised that there are people in Ogden who can read?
    (48 days ago, 12 stars)

    I want to beat Michigan.
    (49 days ago, 6 stars)

    I want to beat Michigan.
    (49 days ago, 8 stars)

    The spouse of a colleague made me hold their baby yesterday. I whispered "Hail Hydra" in a tone loud enough for everyone to hear. Figured that was a better way to handle the situation than "No thanks, I hate babies"
    (49 days ago, 7 stars)

    Whoa, whoa, whoa! You have to PAY for alcohol in coach?
    (50 days ago, 5 stars)

    Did not get the first-class upgrade this evening out of Atlanta. I haven't flown coach since the Bush Administration. Dear Lord, it's like I'm an extra in The Snowpiercer.
    (50 days ago, 2 stars)

    (50 days ago, 3 stars)

    Turk predicted this....except it involved Unitarians. I'd post the message, but that sounds like a lot of work and this porn on my desktop won't watch itself.
    (50 days ago, 8 stars)

    ...sigh....there's always one (winks at bartender, shakes glass for another Maker's)
    (51 days ago, 3 stars)

    .....yeah...I've had a couple of cocktails this evening. So, what's your point? %#$@ you! You can't judge me!
    (51 days ago, 7 stars)

    I'm calling it now. Gionni Paul will have 23 unassisted tackles, 5 tackles for a loss, 2 interceptions and 7 ruptered spleens in the Michigan game.
    (51 days ago, 12 stars)

    I want to beat Michigan
    (51 days ago, 18 stars)

    If Loiter was our AD, he'd see to it that the lyrics from Careless Whisper were inscribed on our shoulder pads.
    (52 days ago, 1 stars)

    The foot rubs by the Volleyball team were a nice touch.
    (54 days ago, 3 stars)

    (54 days ago, 3 stars)

    Archive, please.
    (55 days ago, 2 stars)

    .....Axl or the white guy from CHiPs. Potato, potawto.
    (56 days ago, 2 stars)

    I'll never be satisfied until my idea of Axl Rose riding a Pegasus into battle becomes a reality. That's right Dr Hill, I'm the guy sending you sketches every week.
    (56 days ago, 11 stars)

    ....cause it's either that or you have a small penis. I can't think of any other reason to defend the virtue of Fresno.
    (58 days ago, 5 stars)

    Are you high?
    (58 days ago, 2 stars)

    False. If you've been to a Jack In The Box, you've been to Fresno.
    (58 days ago, 4 stars)

    Preemptive response to those who say that we should respect our opponent: $&@# You. Spent a weekend a weekend in Fresno. Then refer to above.
    (58 days ago, 5 stars)

    Ever been to Fresno? It's like Tooele without the whimsy.
    (58 days ago, 14 stars)

    What's been lost in yesterday's news is that Jennifer Lawrence appears to be the world's greatest girlfriend.
    (58 days ago, 17 stars)

    USA vs Finland in FIBA right now; Hanno Mottola sighting.
    (62 days ago, 3 stars)

    One-armed D1 Placekickers are an exception to Rule 34. I've done the research. Your move, Internet.
    (63 days ago, 10 stars)

    Need to know if Loiter had sex in Shasta's camper last night. There's......(* Puts on green visor. Pounds adding machine. Rips tape *)....$14 riding on this.
    (63 days ago, 3 stars)

    The Sands Sportsbook odds for tomorrow's tailgate vs Idaho St:
    (65 days ago, 8 stars)

    Ute King is always right
    (66 days ago, 3 stars)

    The NEZ is a living manifestation of Orwell's Animal Farm.
    (66 days ago, 9 stars)

    ^ best idea since internet porn ^
    (67 days ago, 5 stars)

    I miss Landpoke.
    (67 days ago, 9 stars)

    Looking for a pair of lower-bowl basketball season tickets. If the seats and price are right (and you don't live west of State St), I might even agree to meet you in person to pick them up. This could be a big moment for your wife. Boardmail me.
    (68 days ago, 5 stars)

    Where in the world is my %£€# to give? It was here just a minute ago.
    (69 days ago, 7 stars)

    Been a while since I've been to Magna. How big of a knife should I pack?
    (69 days ago, 6 stars)

    Gary Andersen, Dave Cullity and Montel Bryant
    (70 days ago, 1 stars)

    Utes, Buffaloes.
    (71 days ago, 4 stars)

    Top 10 Most Recommended Messages:

    As Labor Day approaches, it marks the annual rite of passage at UteFans. That's right, kiddies, it's time for the 2009 MWC Football Coaches Roundtable....enjoy: (66 stars)
    2009-08-27 10:09:45

    You realize we're in the PAC-12, right? (43 stars)
    2011-05-31 05:36:19

    Monday morning at the office of the U of U Athletics Director...... (41 stars)
    2011-03-28 14:51:22

    Monday morning at the U of U AD Office…….. (41 stars)
    2011-03-12 09:50:46

    In all seriousness, I think I speak for all us in that Boise St has some darn-sharp new uniforms and we wish them nothing but the best of luck at the Tour de France next month. (39 stars)
    2009-06-17 10:36:00

    This is a Pug dressed up as a Bantha. Your update is irrelevant. (38 stars)
    2012-11-08 14:54:25

    Here you go kiddies, Mullet Ute's interview with USC football coach Lane Kiffin..... (37 stars)
    2011-09-06 09:30:05

    Creepy, creepy, creepy........... (34 stars)
    2013-06-12 22:02:30

    Coach Jeff Smith: the Loiter Interview...... (31 stars)
    2011-01-05 16:18:04

    You need a girlfriend. (29 stars)
    2009-04-06 13:14:48

    Top 10 Most Viewed Messages:

    Former Wyoming Basketball Coach Benny Dees, The Loiter Interview..... (1760)
    2011-01-14 15:34:56

    Oh the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see. (1050)
    2011-02-28 17:54:47

    Well I'll be damned. Maybe there's hope for the U of U Marketing Department yet. Look what came with my season ticket renewal form this afternoon... (941)
    2011-03-30 16:43:49

    Monday morning at the office of the U of U Athletics Director...... (917)
    2011-03-28 14:51:22

    Monday morning at the U of U AD Office…….. (913)
    2011-03-12 09:50:46

    Freaky like my lady pyramid! (893)
    2010-10-27 23:03:21

    Guiot and Lee... (867)
    2011-04-05 14:31:52

    Enough of your boardmail already! After MadUte's "Brush With Lesbians" post, I guess I should share my own lesbian encounter..... (863)
    2006-11-30 15:13:49

    I don't want to hear anymore bitching and whining regarding the state of the Salt Lake City sports scene. Be grateful for everyday that you do not live in Indiana..... (843)
    2005-12-27 11:22:58

    When they look back in the annals of history, they're going to be talking about three things: The discovery of fire, the invention of the submarine and the Flint Michigan Megabowl. (833)
    2011-03-24 09:15:04

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