Utefans.Net - Uniting the Fans Since 1998
Home - Message Board - Video Highlights - Best Stuff - Game Schedule - Photo Gallery - Quotable - Join!
Bookmark and Share
Username or email


Password


Remember me

Forgot your password?

Become a Member!

Contribute to UteFans.Net
  • new threads
  • top posts
  • best of the board
  • best of football
  • best of basketball
  • best of rivalry smack
  • Recent Topics:

    by
    ( minutes ago)
    Where are We?
    Map of Utefans
    Add Yourself!
    -

    Welcome!

    We are "The online voice of the Ute Fans." Students, alumni, and fans of the University of Utah athletics programs meet here to discuss football, basketball, gymnastics, and other sports.

    Read the Message Board

    Fall Camp Is Here!!!

    Fall Camp Week 2 Notes

    Next Game: vs. Idaho State

    Since we are talking so much TDS tonight, found this gem on UConn's board:

    by Ute2004
    2014-08-20 23:00:33

    Hello Huskie fans! Loyal Cougar Blue fan here wanting to educate you a little about our team. I wanted to welcome you guys to Provo with open arms this fall (I know the schedule says the game is in Connecticut, but that can't be right because we are a P5 team and you guys are a G5 team. I'm sure Holmoe is on the phone with our great partner, ESPN getting that straightened out right away).

    Here is some awesome info about our team to help your viewing pleasure in two weeks.

    First, I wanted to talk about Robert Anae. He is back as our OC. He was originally our OC during our glory years from 2005-2010. While other schools like TCU, Boise St and Utah were going to BCS bowls, we were playing 3 decent teams a year and losing 2 of them. That didn't sit well with us, so we blamed it on Robert Anae.

    They good news is, we sent him to Arizona to learn a new offensive system under Rich Rod and we are happy to announce that he is back and better than ever! He calls his new unique offense the "Go Fast, Go Hard" offense. We were a little offended at first, because frankly, that sounds like a Ute frat party (or we like to call them Yewts, because it sounds derogatory and we like to pretend they are a bunch of "a" word-holes), but we have bought into the hype; hook, line and sinker. I even think Oregon has started to run our offense. We are excited for Anae's second round in his calling.

    I guess I should get the good news/bad news out of the way here. The good news is, we are so proud of the diversity found on this team. Our coaches said they wanted to recruit big time players and really expand BYU's worldwide reach and fanbase (I know, hard to expand when you are already so big, right?) and boy, have they done so. We are proud to announce that we now have, by my count, 8, yes EIGHT, African Americans on our football team. We are so excited for all the speed they will be bringing.

    That leads us to the bad news. Unfortunately, due and alcohol related/car issue for one player and a scandalous earring wearing issue 6 of those players will be suspended for the game.

    But, that leads us back to good news: they should be on the sideline during the game so you can ask them about their amazing experiences they've had at BYU. If while talking to them you have tingling feelings, find the boys with name tags, they can help you find out what that means. Don't be shy, talk to these players! I didn't post pictures, because I'm sure you'll be able to spot them.

    If you look closely, you'll be able to spot some former cougars that are currently in the NFL cheering our boys on! Some names to look for in the stands:

    Star Lotulelei - he is a cougar at heart. He wanted to play for BYU, but his grades weren't good enough. But we love him anyways!
    Haloti Ngata - another cougar great. He was going to go to BYU, but met with our prophet and was given inspiration to take the good news to Oregon.
    Jake Heaps - this was our biggest recruit. He was our freshman Heisman hopeful. He left when Anae left and has helped Kansas's football team go to the next level.
    Jake Murphy - another cougar great that we couldn't find a schollie for. His dad was Dale Murphy. We love these legacy players.

    Look out for those celebs on the sidelines of LES. A fun game we do during timeouts is tell our fans how we know each one because our brother's Bishop once got an autograph from the players.

    Now, no "get to know our team" is complete without some info on a few current players.

    I'll start with our starting center. This kid is a true freshman and has come into camp full steam ahead. While he may only be six feet tall and weigh 250 lbs (we don't say pounds here in Provo, we say lb's. Not "libs" like crazy old Obama, be we say each letter. L. B. Then make it plural. Try it out. You'll sound cool and like you work out all the time!) but Bronco says he is the strongest kid on the team. That right there tells you a lot about our team and how special this kid is.

    Another player to watch out for is a new transfer named Harvey Langi. He played his freshman year as a RB for those stinky Yewts. He then decided to try to get the stink off him by going on a mission. After his mission, he thought about returning to Utah but when he found out he would be their 5th string running back he transfer to BYU. Thank heavens! Heavenly Father must be a BYU fan because Langi has come in and shown what an amazing football player he is. In fact, he is looking so good, he might be our starting MLB! From 5th string RB to starting MLB. What a redemption story. His story tells you so much about our program, the depth we have and the talent level of the rest of our football players.

    The last player I want to spotlight is our Heisman Hopeful, Taysom Hill. Let me begin to show you how great he is by blowing your mind with a couple of stats for you. Last year, against P5 teams:

    He completed a whopping 48% of his pass attempts. That's almost 50%! Get ready to watch a QB blow your mind with passing ability. We feel he should definitely get over 50% this year so watch out. Our football guru, Greg Wrubell, said after seeing him in fall call, he definitely isn't any worse than he was last year. Watch out!

    He threw 10 TD's and 10 INT's last year against P5 teams. The key to life is consistency, right? I think so!

    His QB rating was a 65 and his ESPN QBR was a 68. Well above that 50 mark. Goal accomplished! And if Wrubell is correct and Hill definitely isn't worse than last year...well we are excited to have Hill continue our recent QB success and follow in the footsteps of Jake Heaps and Riley Nelson. It's the dawn of a new age at BYU!!!

    Again, sorry for the mixup about the location of the game. I'm sure Holmoe is getting it figured out with ESPN (ESPN is to BYU like NBC is to ND). They should have an announcement any day and we will welcome all G5 teams to our house with open arms. Even though we have this lofty status we remember where we came from and will treat all G5 teams like you belong with us.

    Good luck in two weeks!

    >> Comment...

     

    Chris Barr picks the Utes!

    by Dwight Schr-UTE
    2014-08-20 17:00:38

    A nice little surprise right before the start of the season! Florida continues to pay.

    https://twitter.com/2SmoothChris/status/5 02227505609441280/photo/1

    >> Comment...

     

    Pac 12 recruiting

    by SigEp Ute
    2014-08-20 15:28:16

    appears to be on the up and up...


    >> Comment...

     

    Carter #9

    by HCHooligan
    2014-08-20 16:21:10

    >> Comment...

     

    RE: Storm brewin....

    by UteStuckInSeattle
    2014-08-20 17:11:32

    >> Comment...

     

    Utah and CU weren't the "leftovers". They were actually the original plan.

    by Swoopah Swoop
    2014-08-20 21:17:42

    When it looked like Texas was looking to move along with Oklahoma, then, yeah, the PAC12 did some due-diligence.

    Compared to Texas and OU, almost every program in the PAC12, Big12, ACC, Big10 would be considered a "leftover". Even almighty BYU.

    >> Comment...

     

    What I think I know, and what I know with every fiber of my Ute-tastic being.

    by Duhwayne
    2014-08-20 18:19:03

    I know that we have way more depth and a healthier team than this time last year.

    I also think I know that we are way deeper and more likely to be competitive in our coming games. Someone is bound to get hurt, just like last year. But I think I know that our depth at virtually every position group--including LB after Paul and maybe Hale return--is deeper than the Jon Hays, please-will-someone-play-linebacker days of two years ago.

    We are going to win more games.

    I am shocked at how ignored we are by everyone. There are only two audio files from today's practice on KALL 700. 1280 interviewed only Tim Patrick but also interviewed the LA Times reporter who said Utah's selection was only dumb luck. DJ finished that by saying it is better to be lucky than good. Not once was it acknowledged for Utah or TCU that both teams were promoted from the MWC precisely because prior to the rule revisions, the MWC HAD PLAYED ITS WAY INTO THE PLAYOFF AND THE P5 CONFERENCES NEEDED TO COOPT THAT SUCCESS TO KEEP OTHERS OUT. Yes, timing was almost serendipitous. BUT LUCK WAS NOT THE ISSUE.

    While I listen to folks use superlatives to describe a local team who will play a creampuff schedule and still manage to lose 2 or 3, or even more games, I smile to myself because we are going to be better than last year. We all know people who fancy themselves as amazing 30 years ago, and who can't handle not being flattered based on that very old, inflated performance.

    I know that the league we are playing in this year will be tougher too. It is widely regarded as the toughest together with the SEC. There is no question the league has upgraded. Everyone acknowledges this.

    I also know that our tough games are also home slanted this year. I believe we will pick off more than we did a year ago. Last year we went to the last series in how many games? Only one broke our way. I think we'll get more this time.

    I am a fan obviously but I don't think it is too delusional to say something like this. To OSU, UCLA, USC, Stanford, and maybe Oregon: come ready to play. We will get our five games. The question is how many more. I think we could get to eight. The senior dropoff for other teams this year is significant. Next year will be even better.

    And for the record, I drank the medicine today and listened to the BYU reporter Mike Hague on KALL 700. The other local team sounds a little like a mess especially at corner. I think they could lose their opener despite all the knobslobbering reportage. I look forward to that even more than I enjoy their fans' delusional boasting of right now.

    I look forward to the day that formal separation is more clearly recognized and BYU's insecurity of being left behind is confirmed. Tom Holmoe is going to ride out of town on a rail.

    Then maybe the local reporting actually organizes its attention on the rest of the PAC like everyone should have three years ago. This is a huge opportunity for the state and everyone in it and we all seem to be pretending like the middle kid just outshone Junior. Junior is more than 30 years old and hasn't done anything since despite all the bragging. I know that the kind of shows on the AM band attracts more BYU fans but for God's sake people, cmon. The state's flagship school looks as good now as ever since joining the best league possible--which it joined by winning two BCS games in the five years prior, I should add. Timing was excellent. Luck had nothing to do with it. Earn your place. Utah did.

    Go Utes.

    >> Comment...

     

    Perhaps this will help...

    by 3UteDad
    2014-08-20 14:53:53

    BYU 'Gay Cure' Study Used Electric Shocks Against Homosexual Feelings

    It's this kind of ground-breaking research that should have clinched their invitation to the PAC12...

    >> Comment...

     

    Let me make one thing perfectly clear....

    by codeRed
    2014-08-20 21:59:53

    In June, 2009 my good friend was at a LakerJazz game in LA. He is an executive with the Jazz. During this game, Kyle told him point blank that the PAC had called and that Utah had been invited to join. A written invitation had also been sent and the two parties were beginning the process of working through the details. That was a full year before this information became public. Also before any of the Texas rumors began.

    If the other schools were option A, then that option had long since been discarded a full year before the official invite became public.

    Please note, I do not share insider information very often. Nor do I claim to have insider info that I do not have. I've been on the board since 97 or 98 and the few bits and pieces I have shared have all proven to be legit (Most were about Majerus that made me very unpopular on this board).

    Take it for what you see it's worth.

    >> Comment...

     

    No talking during dinner. (edited)

    by mk86god
    2014-08-20 15:23:02

    Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

    The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.

    He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

    'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' (true story)

    And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

    But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

    'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

    'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.

    Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

    In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks. Dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

    As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

    So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

    No one says a word.

    So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

    Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.

    His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

    He looks at her mom.

    'She's got a great body,' he thinks.

    So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.

    After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

    Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming. But still.... Total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

    Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

    Suddenly the father shouted, 'I'll do the F'n dishes!!'

    >> Comment...

     

    SEVEN DAYS ! ! !

    by San Diego Ute Fan
    2014-08-21 00:03:56

    >> Comment...

     

    The NCAA will be reporting on the zoob "sock gate" this week.

    by annarborute
    2014-08-20 15:59:07

    This is unchartered water for the N. Korea like byu.

    Oh how delicious it will be to witness zoobs being forced to hear and accept an unedited account of what really happend.

    I'm sure their PR department is working around the clock planning spin job scenerios

    >> Comment...

     

    Everyone forgets the decisions made a decade or more ago...

    by UtahUte72
    2014-08-20 18:08:11

    to put Utah in a position academically to fit into the culture of the PAC 12. This plan, as much as athletic success, led to that invite.

    >> Comment...

     

    Notice:

    • (NM) means No Message was included in the post, so don't bother clicking on it.
    • On the internet, there are people called "Trolls" -- not because they look like monsters -- but because they troll around different message boards, throwing out little baited hooks hoping to get a bite from some eager fish. And like any fisherman, the Trolls won't stay very long if no one bites

    See More Highlights Like These

    Please visit our sponsors

    Friends of Utefans.Net:
    Advertisement:
  • MAJOR iconRandom Profile:
  • "no slogan"

    User pic
    MAJOR
    - Member since: November 19th, 2005
    - Age/gender: 39/M
    - Hometown: Bountiful
    - Archive rank: 0
    - Quote rank: 0
    - Full Profile...

  • Edit my profile...
  •  
  • Friends of Utefans.Net:
    Cakes for All Occasions | Schmidt's Pastry Cottage
    Advertisement:
    PollFan Poll
    How badly will we beat Idaho State?











    Advertisement:

    DISCLAIMER: UteFans.Net is not affiliated with the University of Utah, except that the owner, operators and contributing members are students, alumni, and rabid fans of the U. Additionally, the owner and operators of Utefans.Net are not responsible for the actions of those who use this public forum. By contributing to this forum you agree to abide by the Rules of Conduct outlined on the Post Message page.

    Forum - Boardmail - Profile - Schedule - Events - Photos - Archive - Quotable - Join!
    Home | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | News | Contact Us

    Copyright (C) 1998-2014 Utefans LC. All rights reserved. Partner of USA TODAY Sports Digital Properties.